No? Do you even know who the hell I’m talking about? (No, this ain’t Charles Dickens.) If you do know, do wonder why anyone would want to be the heir to Tiny Tim?

I’m asking myself this after hearing Doctor Sparkles ukulele-ragin’ CD Sail Away. This guy is either a genius or … not a genius. Who can tell these days.

Doctor Sparkles has a very vivid musical imagination. I think he’s even pretty damn talented. His voice can be almost breathtakingly beautiful. But he wails on a freaking ukulele! I can laugh - I can say this isn’t too god-awful for a ukulele - but I can only stand the torture of those twanky strings for so long.

OK. If you dig ukulele, buy this. You’ll never look back. If you like driving your friends insane with your eclectic taste in music, buy this. If you have kids who you want to dissolve into laughter at the sound of music, buy this. If you hate ukulele, run.

Visit the good Doctor on his Mystically Amusing Music Web site. Maybe you’ll decide you need that “Ooh… You made a poo poo by yourself!” button after all.